Depending on who you believe (The Advertiser, ABC, or Bike SA) it was between two and four thousand cyclists who rallied at SA Parliament House this morning for their rights to the road. We took up all 6 lanes of North Terrace, and one lane of King William Street!

I arrived a little late, so I was at the back. The very eloquent speakers at the rally were drowned out at times by the traffic on Adelaide’s busiest intersection directly behind us.

Notable speakers were:

• Peter Solly, CEO of Bicycle SA, who informed us that a million dollars in cycling strategy funding was the equivalent of a gold coin donation for every person in Adelaide! He strongly demanded more cyclist strategy funding in the forthcoming State Budget. Well said Pete.
• State Attorney-General Michael Atkinson, who didn’t speak very loudly, but I heard on the news that he publicly formally apologised to the widow and family of tragically slain cyclist Ian Humphrey.

Sorry I can’t give more highlights but you are welcome to contribute through the comments page.

You know what really disappointed me? The cops! I know this is a cliché, but I personally witnessed abhorrent intimidation of a cyclist by a member of the constabulary, including standover tactics. If the guy I saw can give more details, please do!

I also distinctly heard two cops-on-bikes (let’s call them cobs) standing behind me were discussing whether they could spot a ‘ringleader’ or ‘troublemakers.’

Let me get one thing straight, cobs, because I know you’re reading this. I respect you and I applaud the police’s decision to put cops onto bikes, it’s brilliant. Catch crooks and bad guys on the most efficient mode of transport known to humanity, that’s great. And I know you’re under pressure, you have standard methods of dealing with unruly mobs and such. But we were not an unruly mob, there were families and little kids as well as the Che-shirters and the lycra-stuffing coffee-slupers.
Can you imagine violence in a crowd that large and pointy??? Put it this way: have you ever been caught in your bike before? Now imagine it on a grand scale. It’d be absolute carnage!

But I stray from my point. We’re not ‘troublemakers’ or ‘rabble-rousers’. We are people like you, people who have mortgages and cars (yes, you can own a car and still resist car culture) and we pay taxes and rego fees just like you do (it’s a popular myth, but car registration fees do not fund road maintenance, it’s not nearly enough money. We all pay for roads through general revenue). We have as much right to the road as anyone else (more if you ask me, since we’re so efficient). I even overheard you complaining that motorists toot you in Pulteney Street, just like they do to us. But you don’t know the half of it. In this city of Commodores and Falcons, where there are whole suburbs of people employed by car manufacturers, everyone’s out to prove how big their extended penis is by taunting, beeping, hitting or cutting off cyclists. You wear clear police badging on your bike which eliminates a lot of this.

Back to my point again. Just where do you get off trying to distance yourselves from other cyclists? You’re supposed to be on our side! As a police officer you’re supposed to be protecting us and as a cyclist you’re expected to stand up for us. Take a long, hard look at yourselves. Take your police badging off your bikes-made-by-a-gun-maker (do you get discount for that?) and try riding to and from work.

Excuse my while I wipe off my mouth, but I thought it was a very important point to make.

This is exactly why we’re uncomfortable about letting police on Critical Mass rides. In Melbourne, cobs attend CM and issue fines to attendees for not wearing lights, or crossing a road without dismounting. I’ve seen it myself.
In New York City, they’ve had to resort to starting Mass from ten or twelve points around the city or they’ll all be arrested for ‘unlawful gathering’ or minor traffic infringements. Not fined, arrested. Remember the ‘anti-terror’ legislation to stop crowds gathering in public places? That’s us, people! That’s part of the reason why we’re not an official organisation with ‘ringleaders.’